Bruce Marchiano’s Journal

Sometimes it’s, well, the Spokane Airport, Terminal C. That’s not to say anything negative about this particular airport – after not so long they all begin to look the same. But just to say, as “glamorous” as my life of flying all over sharing Jesus (& enjoying the occasional giraffe!) may appear to some onlookers, just like anything else, “it ain’t so pretty all the time.”

To be a bit too honest, I’ve been doing this since 1993 (who’d of ever imagined?), and I couldn’t begin to recount the times I’ve sat staring at this same “view,” overwhelmed by fatigue, every joint in my body aching from the wear & tear of too many airplanes, too many strange beds, & too much restaurant food.

That’s not to mention the alone-ness that can often swarm a tired heart. It is a bizarre twist, to enjoy times of ministry like today, surrounded by precious folks, sharing the most precious truths of all, & seeing lives changed. Then, the service over, they come & share their stories – breathtaking testimonies of God’s great workings…

Then suddenly – alone. Sitting in an airport. Exhausted.  Four hours of flying, a shuttle to your car, the 405 freeway, and the silence of home.

My life is a grand adventure, no doubt about it. I am as privileged as anyone can be. God has blessed me so far beyond anything I could have ever imagined…  But there is surely a cost – & as it should be, because there’s always a cost to what is precious & of great value.

On Tuesday I spoke to a class of Bible School students. There was a comment made to the teacher before I spoke, “I’m not so sure I want to go into ministry – it sounds so hard.”

My goodness, of course it’s hard! What on earth ever gave anyone the impression it wasn’t? I mean, there’s Jesus hanging on a tree for all of us to see – the living model of ministry – a living, literal, complete & total  sacrifice of everything of self & then some!  Glory to his wondrous name!

And you know, in those times when the sacrifice seems so much, all I need do is think of him and it’s instantly, “Dear Lord, forgive me.”

For me, one of the most tell-tale stories in all the gospels is in John, in my memory its the end of chapter 7, beginning of 8. It’s the close of a long day of speaking in the temple courts, Jesus has been attacked, laughed at, heckled… & more than anything, poured himself out in every way.  You can only imagine his exhaustion – of heart.

As the story goes, the day at an end, John writes, “Everyone went to their homes – but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.” Oh, how one can only imagine the tears he must have cried at the feet of his Father that night – so spent, so fatigued, so alone – on the Mount of Olives…

The Lord is good, there just are no two ways about it. And there just is no greater thing a guy can do than share Jesus. I mean, just a few hours ago, before my very eyes, I saw twenty or so souls pass from darkness into eternal light, coming to Jesus.

One was a little boy of about ten. There was a man & wife, a father & son.  There was a middle-aged woman sitting all by herself in the shadows of the back row… all coming to Jesus.

What can I say about that? As wonderful as it is to stand five feet from a giraffe in the African bush, it just can’t compare to seeing a life reborn in Jesus.  And if that privilege means a few aches and pains, tired emotions here and there, long drives home in silence and long flights next to business guys elbowing me with their laptops… it’s a remarkably small price to pay, to be sure.

You know, Terminal C doesn’t look so bad after all. And this airport bagel I’m chewing on tastes almost like the bagels I buy from my local bakery.

And that hotel last night was a blessing, so quiet & comfortable.  And what a blessing to come to this land of forested hills & winding waterways, especially in this season when the fall colors are exploding across the hills in expansive swaths of red, orange & yellow.

Yeah, this airport doesn’t look so bad after all… people gave their lives to Jesus!  Glory to Jesus!

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

As you can see, the view from my b-berry is sometimes… breathtaking.

Sitting here waiting for my departure flight. It has always been very hard for me to return home from SA, and one would think I’d eventually get better at it, but it’s something I still haven’t figured out, and so I struggle to keep my heart intact even today all these years later. Especially following this trip which has been so much more in every way.

At every turn the ministry was so heavily blessed by God, lives so deeply touched, in Cape Town, with Martin… This sounds strange but it was almost too much, like looking into the face of God if I can put it that way – it’s so overwhelming you have to turn away.

And the worship in the Oukasie crusade services, just more than the human heart can handle. Like that prophet who turned away saying, “Lord, I’m just a sinful man.”

And then there was being in Cape Town after a years-long absence, being with Regardt, ministering in the Afrikaans community there which used to be such a huge part of my SA ministry. Hey, the flood of memories going all the way back to filming “Matthew,” and the re-awakening of a long season of life that once was my whole life and so many hopes and dreams that were born there. Some fulfilled and many yet a question mark. It brought so much to the surface and my mind was turning so that night after night I struggled to sleep.

Then there was the bush… Words can’t describe the wonder I experienced this past week.  How can it be that a guy who grew up in southern California could be most at home in the African bush. Truly, I don’t know what it is, the nature, the edge, the primitive rawness, the breathtaking quiet…

Each night I went on a starlit game drive, something I’ve never done before because you’re stuck on an open Land Rover with tourists. Well, the Lord blessed me because for whatever reason there were very few others, all looking to see a lion or leapord… But I just sat in the back, basking in the warmth and quiet. Yes, that may well be what I love most about the bush – the quiet.

Still, “John” awaits, and we’re on the edge of big things there. So responsibility demands that – go home. And as much as I’m missing SA already, I know I will soon return.

Glory to the name of Jesus!

Today while praying, I just became overwhelmed with thankfulness – overwhelmed to the point of tears.  The line that hit me in the middle of it was, “I could cry for thankfulness for God.”

 I’ve been moving through an incredibly challenging period in terms of demands on my time, family responsibility, huge decisions to make in fresh direction re JOHN, and the pressures of planning a South Africa Crusade and meeting those resource needs while not “seeing it happening” in front of my eyes.  There’s much more I can say, but you get the idea.

 While I was in Africa in May the Lord really spoke to me about “ordering” things in the ministry and also personally.  Not being a confrontational person, being one who doesn’t like to disappoint people or hurt feelings, it is easy for things to slip into “out of order,” and the Lord clearly showed me what needed to be done. 

 It was going to take a step of strong leadership and risk, and more than anything, the Lord going before me.  But it had to be.  And on top of that, staying on top of deadlines and commitments, keeping the train going, being the encourager, the visionary, the leader of the charge, the man responsible for sustaining all that has been built and moving toward what is before us…  I can promise you, “it ain’t so easy” all the time.

 But I gritted my teeth, got on my knees, and forced myself to step out.  Part of that was relinquishing the intercessory leadership to Johnnie Goolsby, and other areas of delegation (after pretty much doing it all myself for more than a decade).  And now here we are, only 3 1/2 months later, and all things are in order, all cylinders are cooking, I’m significantly less overwhelmed, people around me are stepping to a strong and parallel beat… I am so humbled and so thankful I don’t know what to say.  

 But on top of that, just to look back and see the Lord’s extraordinary faithfulness in bringing all things together, in making things happen that are beyond human control, of taking what little offering was in my hands and turning it into something wonderful. 

This new JOHN promo video shoot that I just completed is a prime example.  It was scheduled for Saturday but on Thursday I only had one “actor” confirmed, no location, and the script was little more than an outline.  Yes, it took several nights of working into the morning, and it took the help of many others… but on Saturday morning there we were shooting with 10 actors, a crew, and the co-operation of the local merchants in front of whose businesses we were shooting.  And there’s loads more – the Lord not only sent me great actors but they were wonderful, exciting Christians whose on-screen presence and passion took the whole thing into “exceedingly and abundantly” territory, well beyond my expectations.

 And that is just not all.  Most of you know that my mother’s care is my responsibility and so going to Africa for 3 weeks can be quite the hair-puller.  But here I sit a week before I fly, and she is perfectly ordered, secured and all set – not only secured but she’s going to have a ball.  And then the spiritual battle to see the full crusade budget come in – you people have been so wonderfully faithful – and the Lord through you.  I have zero doubt the budget will be met.

And so today I sat down to pray – after getting to bed before 1 AM for the first time in many days – and all of the above just overwhelmed me.  All I could think to pray was thanks, thanks, and more thanks.  And I got so emotional with thanks that there were no words, oh glory to the name of Jesus!  God has brought all things in perfect order, fulfilled all needs, exceeded expectations, done the impossible… and I am just entirely overwhelmed.  Glory to His name!

 May this be an encouragement to you, my friends, for “God is not a respecter of persons.” Whatever you may be facing, may your face be turned to Jesus.  May the veil be lifted that your eyes may fully see the fullness of his hand as you cry out and cry out even more.  And may a spirit of thankfulness overcome us all – may it bring us all to tears, for this is how we must always be before God – overwhelmed, blown away, amazed and astounded… by his living care and graciousness, by his perfection of faithfulness and abounding bounty unto us… in all things, in all ways, glory to the name of Jesus!

 God bless you, precious one.  Eyes on Jesus, all of us together.  What challenges you face – hey, there’s nothing you can do to tackle them yourself – we simply don’t have the goods – and so there is only to cry out to Jesus and keep crying out to Jesus; crying out while declaring your inadequacy joyously… and then watch him do as only he can do.  Glory to the name of Jesus!

 Standing together in his glorious name!!   

Glory to the name of Jesus!

Bruce Marchiano

As most of you know, there isn’t one piece of mail that doesn’t come across my desk that I don’t see.  A long time ago, when my public life was just beginning here in America, I sat with a well known worship leader and I will never forget his words – words that are one of my cornerstones in terms of my professional life to this day.  He said, “Bruce, whatever you do, don’t let anyone come between you and the people.  Don’t ever forget, it’s all about those people – about the Lord and about his people.” 
 
It was a comment that came on the heels of a discussion about how often that which carries the appearance of ministry is more business in actuality and practice, with the involvement of business managers, publicists, agents, etc.  (Show me where all that is in the Scriptures – yikes!).
 
All to say, I read everything.  Yes, some things are a little “out there,” and occasionally I receive something that is much too long to read every word (just last week I received a letter that was 49 pages – hand written!).  One has to discern and be a good steward of his time – especially when time has become such a rare thing for me.  But for all practical purposes, nothing gets by me.  Amen!
 
Over the years I have received SO many deeply touching letters, cards, emails… most of them testimonies to the workings of God in people’s lives.  I have said it many times, it is those testimonies that keep me going in this pursuit that so often boils down to one sacrifice after the other, glory to Jesus!
 
People also send me their stories, and also encouragement – which I so appreciate.  And then every once in a while I receive something that carries such a precious spirit of humility, grace, simple obedience, quiet and private pursuit of the heart of God…  You know, there are a lot of people who receive all sorts of accolades for their Christianity – and then there are the “real” people, who just go about the business of living daily life in Christ.  “The sparrow,” as Jesus phrased it – “[The Father's] eye is on the sparrow.”  To read a letter from such a heart always touches me very deeply.
 
Well, I came across a letter today that I actually received a week or two weeks ago and only now got around to looking at it.  It’s written on yellow legal pad paper, and it included a plastic bag full of change (for John) – $1.30 to be exact. 
 
I assumed it was from a child because I often receive little envelopes with change or a couple dollars from kids – and that is so very beautiful.  But the letter and the change wasn’t from a kiddie.  And as I began to read, it was everything in me to restrain tears as I was taken back to “what it’s all about,” by the humble preciousness of a humble saint – who represents so many of you who so humbly and graciously support and pray. 
 
With the hope of returning all of us to that heart place where we all need to be – with the hope of taking us all back to that “what it’s all about”… 
 
Dear Bruce,
 
I must admit this seems odd for me to send a baggie of change – but there’s a story behind these coins.  A year or so ago, I heard Dr. Jack Hayford preach a sermon he called, “The Parable of the Pennies.”  Basically, he said he began to find pennies in the strangest places – some were in the open but overlooked and ignored.  Others were found in the shadows, hidden and forgotten.  Some came from dirty places and were covered with dirt; others had been run over and were bent, scratched, faded…
 
Through his message he shared that the Lord showed him that those pennies are like souls.  Each lost, useless and worthless in people’s eyes, not “living” the purpose for which they were designed and created.  Each had value, etc., and yet the whole world just passed them by, stepping on them, looking at them and deciding not to bother with them, even throwing them out…
 
I’ve never forgotten that message, and since hearing it I seem to find change everywhere.  In the past I would always walk by it, but since that message, whenever I see a penny on the ground or wherever, I pick it up and pray for the soul that it represents. (Perhaps my prayers carry more weight when it’s a dime or a nickel!).
 
So this bag is a collection of all found coins.  You will see that many are in bad shape.  Some you even can’t recognize that it was a penny.  But each coin has caused me to stop and pray for the lost.  Since this is what John is all about, I’m sending them to you.  It’s a small offering, I know, but I plant it in “good soil”…
 
What can I say, except a penny on the ground, no matter how soiled, how defaced, how seemingly worthless… will never look the same to me.  I hope that I will never walk by one ever again, without such precious, precious, God-birthed understanding.  And I would hope further that you would share that hope with me.  
 
Glory to Jesus…

Recently Bruce was interviewed in conjunction with the South African release of a film Bruce did, “Faith Happens.”  Unedited and in its entirety, please enjoy the transcript below…

1)     How does preparing for the upcoming JOHN film compare to your preparation for playing Peter in “Faith Happens?”

The difference is the difference between heaven and earth, ha ha!  Seriously, to prepare to represent the Son of the living God on film – which is what JOHN is all about – takes me into a deeply intensive level of spiritual and personal preparation on top of the usual actor’s prep.  I can “perform” Peter with learned actor’s skills, grasping his motivations and vulnerabilities and bringing them to life.  But with Jesus – to do that properly requires a deep work of the Holy Spirit within me as a child of God – and that is where I focus with JOHN or in the past, with MATTHEW.

2)      How would you define “faith” in your own life?

Believing God is who he says he is no matter how much circumstances might seem to say the opposite.  Yes, clinging to who I know he is and the hope before me because of him, no matter what I see with my eyes, think in my head or feel in my heart.

3)      What do you consider to be your greatest accomplishment to date?

You put me on the spot with this one…    I think our greatest accomplishments are the “little things” that aren’t necessarily seen, and I think that has to do with simple faithfulness to your God-given, everyday life-responsibilities.  By way of example, a father taking excellent care of his children, a young woman taking care of her ailing granny, a pastor of a small church visiting the sick…  All unnoticed things that receive no applause but require extraordinary and humble commitment.  I think wherever I have been able (by his grace) to meet that in my own life, therein would lie my greatest accomplishments.

4)      Playing the role of Jesus – did this affect the way you live your own life?

Yes, in every way.  I was so deeply challenged by who Jesus was – as a man in his character, priorities, passions, motivations…  And in every day of playing Jesus it was like this whisper inside me, “This is how Jesus wants you to live, this is what he means by ‘Christ-like.’”  And you know what that all boils down to?  A lifestyle of “giving.”  Jesus did one thing his entire life – he gave his life away.  Hey, if that doesn’t challenge a guy, I don’t know what will!

5)      How would you describe the difference between “acting Jesus” in movies and “living like Christ” every day?

It’s so much easier in front of the camera – there’s no risk and you know how it’s going to turn out, but mostly it requires nothing of personal sacrifice.  But in real life - to give of yourself like Jesus did, to continually deny yourself for the benefit of others; to pray unceasingly, to do what God asks no matter what, to take nothing for yourself and give your everything away…  Yeah, there is the REAL thing!  And that’s where the tire meets the road!

6)      If you could choose a quote to live your life by, what would it be?

One of the foundation quotes of my life, spoken to me by Dean Jones who your readers may know from Herbie the Love Bug and many other old Disney films… “Pray and work toward what you want – but eat what God puts on your plate today.” This has been the key to everything of my life that anyone would say was accomplishment or success.  If you knew my story you would know that I have rarely received what I wanted – but chose to dive into what was before me no matter what it looked like or how much I didn’t want to do it, trusting that if it was before me, it was what God had for me. And everything you see, my ministry, MATTHEW, JOHN, my books… has flowed out of that choice.  The Lord is awesome!

7)      Bruce at home with no schedule – what would your day look like?

When I’m not out in the public i live a very quiet life – busy, but very quiet.  I begin the day with a tall cup of coffee, a quiet outdoor spot, my Bible, and a good 2 hours in prayer and worship.  From then on, leading both JOHN and Marchiano Ministries, there are many meetings, conference calls and dozens of emails that need answers.  Then every afternoon I train with a hard program of running and weight training (my favorite part of the day!).  Training for me is also a time of quiet with the Lord.  There’s usually an early dinner (if I remember to eat) and then working on the JOHN script/creative issues till my eyes won’t stay open, or if I’m preparing for another film, working on that script.  Sometimes there are phone/radio interviews mixed in there, and I will always end the day with a cup of tea, outdoors, quiet, praying.  I really cherish the “quiet.”

8)      Do you find that your fans have unrealistic expectations from “Bruce the man” after playing the role of Jesus?

There are certainly times when I meet people who refuse to allow me to be “human.”  And sometimes people expect me to be super-spiritual all the time.  But most people are very gracious and allow me to be myself.  BUT… hopefully when I am myself, I am representing Jesus properly.  Yes, I think your question could be asked of anyone who claims to be a child of God, in the sense that people know what they stand for and are watching to see if you are “the real thing,” or just another fake.  People have been SO turned off to God because of the behavoir of his children who do a lot of talking but not the walking.  And that is VERY heartbreaking.  “Oh Lord, PLEASE don’t ever allow me to act in a way that harms your name!”

9)      Apart from Jesus, do you have any other role models?

There are three men who I’m privileged to call friends, who are men of extraordinary character and maturity in the Lord.  Dr. Jack Hayford is one friend I’ve always seen walk in tremendous integrity and authenticity, always with a kingdom perspective no matter the circumstances - he inspires me.  And there are two other pastor/leader friends who are real models to me, and again, it is a matter of their character – integrity, humility, graciousness, compassion – and a love for Jesus that is not so much trumpeted, but lived out in everyday life.  Yes, their Christianity isn’t something they talk about or “do” - it’s woven into their being, it’s who they are – and they’re a great blessing!

10)  What would you like to leave as a legacy for coming generations?

Well, I’ve been privileged to “leave” MATTHEW.  We did that film in 1993 and even now, not a day goes by that I don’t receive emails from all corners of the world, saying it changed their life.  I enjoy the same with a couple of my books – the message of the love of Jesus transcending generations.  That legacy is a blessing and if I died tomorrow I couldn’t be more happy.  But now my focus is turned toward filming JOHN, and I certainly hope, like MATTHEW, it will change lives for many generations – until Jesus comes!

11)  If acting weren’t an option, what career would you choose?

I absolutely love the speaking ministry the Lord has given me, my writing and my ministry work especially in SA.  But aside from that, I am a great lover of the bush and photography.  So I would explore wildlife photography.  For me, there just is nothing quite like the African bush.

12)  You had a crusade in South Africa in May 2009; what was the highlight of this crusade?

We have been conducting crusades in NW Province since 2004, three every year.  The highlight of every crusade is always seeing precious people come to Jesus.  I NEVER tire of that sight and it often moves me to tears.  Other than that, this last crusade what deeply touched me was seeing the masses of “kiddies” attending each service.  We began developing kiddies ministry during these crusades and now it has exploded, they are coming to Jesus in droves.  And to see them packing out the service, lifting their little hands in worship – takes my breath away.  You can see photos at www.brucemarchiano.com.

13)  Are you planning any other trips to South Africa in the near future?

SA has always been very deep in my heart and I often think back on the days when I would spend four or six months at a time, traveling and speaking all over the country.  That era of my life is my most cherished memory.  These days I do three trips each year, May, September, and December, each one is about three weeks.  So… I will see you there soon!  And I can’t wait!  Glory to Jesus!

"Faith Happens"

On the set of "Faith Happens"